There are some things I just don’t get. I don’t get tattoos. I don’t get Angry Birds. And I don’t get Lady what’s-her-name, among other things. That’s just me.

To not get something is to be out of touch with something; to fail to understand the value, significance, or potential impact of something; or to be blind to a prevailing pattern, habit, lifestyle, or condition that needs to be changed, improved, or eliminated.

There are times when we are completely aware of our not getting something, like tattoos. There are other situations when we are clueless, like when men are clueless about feminine sensitivities, which leads to the well-earned indictment of “insensitivity.” Cluelessness can be dangerous and unhealthy in relationships. 

No one will argue against the fact that since the beginning of Christian history there has existed a tension between two distinct groups in the church – the clergy and the laity. This natural tension has gone through numerous periods of high and low conflict. At times it has been extremely unhealthy.

Like the relationship between male and female, there is an inherent tension between clergy and laity that can be bridged only by an intentional effort toward understanding, scriptural guidance, and godly wisdom. Like the relationship between husband and wife, the relationship between the pastor and people is too important for either party not to get the other.

Since some are saying that we are entering a period of heightened tension between clergy and laity in the American church, it might be helpful to recognize some areas in which we might diligently work in our understanding of each other.

What pastors don’t get:

1.  Pastors don’t get the reluctance of people to follow and their resistance to change.
2.  Pastors don’t get the underlying distrust people have toward pastoral leadership.
3.  Pastors don’t get the low level of commitment that exists with the majority of church members

What people don’t get:

1. People don’t get the pastor’s call and how it shapes his identity and motivation for ministry. (Paul begins almost every epistle with a mention of his call to be an apostle and servant of Christ.)
2. People don’t get the pastor’s burden and weight of responsibility as the spiritual leader and shepherd of his people.
3. People don’t get the pastor’s personal needs. (Time for rest and renewal; personal and family time; companionships and friendships; adequate financial support and expressions of appreciation; constant encouragement and especially prayer.) 

Pastor and people need to work hard at communicating at a heart level to get each other in order to better work together for the mission they are both called to fulfill. Pastor and people alike need to get the fact that a healthy relationship between them is essential to getting those outside the church and the Kingdom.